I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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