I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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