Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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