im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
