shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
