You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
