the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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