imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
