the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
