Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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