I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
