I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
