i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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