Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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