Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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