You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You are a genius and a whore.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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