I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
