Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
