I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
