he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
