And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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