Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
