Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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