my phone needs a breathalizer
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
