I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize