god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
