is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
