My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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