Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize