yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
