Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
that may or may not have been my penis.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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