Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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