his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
it's like iHOP with fire
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
