Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
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