I got her a Nickelback box set.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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