I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
