From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
