it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
