i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
