dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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