I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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