I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
