I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
