I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
