take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
