i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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