You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
