4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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