my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
