If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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