I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
