I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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