apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
