Acid is not a monday night drug
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize