He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
