Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Panties = found
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
