I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
