I need to stop coming to work sober
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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