I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
